It’s snowing again, and the world looks peaceful outside. My daughters are still sleeping at 10:30 am, which is typical of teenagers. So things are peaceful indoors as well. Everyone is a little tired since we just returned from four days in Williamsburg, VA, and beyond, where we stepped back in time to the first English settlement in Jamestown. We walked the actual location those first settlers were believed to have lived. More than half of them died there as they were ill-prepared to survive the first year, and their goals were chiefly to ward off the Spanish, which never became necessary, and to find gold, which was a misguided dream.

It’s a humbling experience to realize what grew over time in spite of those early human errors, and to see how resourceful people have been throughout history.

Later, walking the streets of Williamsburg and listening to the interpreters speak about the days leading up to the Revolutionary War was an equally humbling experience. As hard as life was, it also seems from my 2009 perspective (since I walked with a cell phone and a Blackberry in my pocketbook, trying to ignore them both), that it was much more simple. In fact, it was slightly jarring to leave the area and step into a deli where modern life came crashing back.

My daughters and husband and I talked about who is better off, the colonists who worked hard until sundown, or the modern parent who works until she/he can’t stand any more for fatigue? Are we better off that we have all the conveniences that simplify our lives to the point where we can get even more work done?

My grandmother used to say “a woman’s work is never done.” And while she was speaking of cooking, cleaning and laundry, all things I still need to worry about, though my husband is an equal partner in all that, her sentiment is accurate even today. As a working mother for 19 years, it’s true that while I meet deadlines, my work is never done. And all the other parents I know feel the same.

Maybe that’s just life, whether you wash your clothes with a washing board and bar of soap, but only do so once every couple of weeks because you have so few clothes, or you do so with an electric machine that constantly has a load going because each family member has a closet full.

In the end, what matters most is that you make time for your family. The colonists put down their work at sundown out of necessity, and spent evenings around the fire with their children. With our modern technology it’s all too easy for us to spend evenings with each family member off by themselves sitting around their personal TV, computer and other hand-held devices.

As we welcome in the New Year, perhaps a resolution we families can borrow from another era is that we make more time to sit with our children and have conversations like the one my family had on our vacation. Each generation has a lot to share and learn from the other. We just have to make the time to do so. And those are the times our children will remember as well.

I wish you a happy, healthy and prosperous New Year, and the time with your family to enjoy it. After all, you’ve worked hard enough for it.

Lately I feel as though every time I pick up the paper, Chicken Little is blaring out from the headlines with these constant “the sky is falling” warnings. It’s not that I don’t take seriously all the talk of swine flu. And I have the deepest sympathy for anyone who lost a loved one to the illness earlier this year. It’s just that I wonder sometimes if we’re being led toward fear rather than commonsense. I’ve never heard so much talk about hand washing before. Hasn’t it always been a good idea to wash your hands, cover your mouth when you cough or sneeze and shake hands with the hand you don’t use for this prior purpose? These are lessons we’re supposed to have taught our children along with brushing after every meal. At the same time, I have a college student and an insulin-dependent teenager. I teach at a local university. My husband teaches at a local high school. I suppose you could say we’re all likely candidates for this poorly named illness. But I’m distrustful of vaccines that haven’t had time to be fully tested because I worry more about the side effects than the disease. And I’m skeptical whenever the drumbeat sounds continuously about something “they” say I now suddenly have to do.  So I’ll continue to monitor Chicken Little’s messages, but I’m going to try not to let them make me grab the family and go into hiding. What do you think of the news about swine flu? Will you have your child vaccinated?

It happens every year, and I never remember to prepare my girls for it. With end-of-school year parties/projects/teacher gifts/half days, my kids and I are just so grateful for the finish line, that last day of school, that we don’t think about the after. We have summer plans, of course, that include camp and vacations and (my idea) cleaning bedrooms. But those early days, when suddenly the routine of school is over, when no one has to worry about homework or going to bed or getting up at a certain time, are actually stressful for my kids. They wander around the house aimlessly, rejecting suggestions to call a friend or read a book (or clean their bedrooms). They’re bored, but not really. They’re tired, but not really. They just don’t know what to do with themselves. I understand how they feel. You know how you long for a break in your workload, but those first hours when you don’t have the same routine to worry about can leave you a little out of sorts? Well kids experience that as well. It doesn’t last more than a day or two and then they find their groove. But you’d think by now I’d plan for it. Or maybe this is just something they need to go through. After all, we Long Island parents have our kids fairly regulated in terms of their time. Maybe they do need to go through an adjustment period of their own to fully appreciate the change in their routine. However, I see no reason that any of this adjusting can’t include a clean bedroom. Don’t you agree?
How do you help your kids transition into summer vacation? Write and let me know.