Parent Exchange
We parents have a lot to say, and there’s no one who can tell you what it’s like to be a parent here than another mom and dad. Use this blog to post an issue you’d like help with, a concern you have or just an idea you want to share. Consider this your opportunity for a virtual exchange over the backyard fence with your Long Island neighbors.
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As a parent, I’ve always liked Santa, tolerated the Tooth Fairy, but had a hard time with the concept of the Easter Bunny. The image of a giant bunny is just too scary for kids, it seems to me. How have you handled these imaginary gift givers in your child’s life?
Liza Burby
17 Comments to "Parent Exchange"
1 | Claudia Copquin
As much as cell phones can be great “safety” tools, with the addition of texting, they’ve become one giant distraction at school. And I know plenty of parents who don’t hesitate to text their children during class time. How are our kids supposed to learn and focus, when their friends and family are interrupting their concentration on whatever their teachers are saying?
2 | Tonya Christianson
Dear Dr. Tiegerman :
Thank you, thank you, thank you from the bottom of my heart for releasing this information to parents. My son is 5 1/2 years old and has been diagnosed with significant speech delay. He has been attending SLCD in Glen Cove since he was 3 1/2 years old and currently speaks at about a 3 year old level. His comprehension is difficult to test, but is estimated at around the 2 1/2 year old level. I bring my son everywhere a typical child goes…the shopping mall, restaurants, beaches, fairs, parks, story time, craft activities, and it doesn’t take long until he is standing alone on the sidelines because the other children cannot understand him and thinks he is “weird” because he cannot communicate like the other children. My son is very outgoing and absolutely loves being around other children. He often asks me why the other children do not want to play with him and do not want to be his friend. It breaks my heart every time I see the group of children leave my son behind or not include him in their play activities, as he so desperately wants to be involved and included in their games. I have shed many tears on the playground watching my little boy during these activities. I assure you my son is an absolutely typical 5 year old; he loves ice cream, spiderman, playing on the swings, watching Disney Movies, eating popcorn, swimming in the pool, riding his bike, etc. He simply struggles with sharing his thoughts. Thank you for getting this message out. It made my day and I hope spares some other Mothers and children tears on the playground.
3 | Anita Glick
When your college students come home for summer vacation, remind yourself to go with the flow, and not allow yourself to get overhwhelmed, and bent out of shape. Yes, once again, your laundry piles are sky high, you can’t keep enough food in the refrigerator, and you cannot fall asleep knowing that they are out until the wee hours of the morning. But, don’t forget that it is an adjustment for them as well as for you. After all, they have been living a happily independent life away from you at school, and now they are back home, living under your rules, and your watchful eye. Don’t let hostilities and resentments build, but rather, have an open and honest discussion about these issues, and come up with compromises that you can both live with. But, most importantly, try to enjoy this limited, and precious time together, because, as only we parents know, such times are fleeting, and will not last forever.
4 | Michael Casano
Sometimes, the best gift we can give our dads for Father’s Day is just reminding them of a time where their presence meant so much to you.
For me, that time came during my sophomore year in college. I had just started a job at the office where my father worked. Unfortunately, I was involved in a car accident that totaled my 1969 Barracuda — which meant my dad would have to drive me until it was fixed.
But something wonderful happened during those 10 “car-less” weeks he drove me — we finally had a chance to talk outside our “father/son” relationship. We had conversations about his life growing up, things that drove him crazy, you name it. We also met for lunch each day, which gave us even more time to connect. It was one of most terrific experiences in my life, because I got to know him more than just as a “dad” — and he got to learn more about me as well.
I make sure to share memories like that with my dad every Father’s Day — because I want him to know how much a positive influence he’s been in my life and how much I love him. I can only hope I’m creating similar memories now that my son and daughter will want to share with me some day.
So, on this Father’s Day, I encourage you to share a similar story with your dad before he ends up behind the grill or opens up that usual greeting card. Trust me, he’ll love to know.
5 | Michael Casano
Late last month, I dropped off my son and daughter at pre-school for the very last time. I must admit the moment was bittersweet. On the one hand, the event marked the end of monthly daycare payments (insert large smile on my face here). And, since my wife will be handling kindergarten pick-up and drop off beginning this fall, it gives me a one-year reprieve from the stress involved with driving to make sure we all got to where we needed to be on time.
Along with those milestones, however, came the realization that I was about to lose some special “one on one” time I enjoyed with my kids. You see, I’d been handling their drop-off since they were a little over two – so I had three years or so to see them “grow up” in the backseat of car. We’d have silly conversations, point out trains and boats on the way, and play different types of music (for the record, it was during this time that they became Beatles fans). They gave me some of my fondest memories so far of being a dad.
Now, I know other opportunities will develop for us to bond together. But even with the chaos that most often ensued each morning to get out the door, those drop-offs provided me with moments I’ll treasure forever.
A question for you dads out there: what are some opportunities you’ve had to share special “father” moments with your children?
6 | Anita Glick
The school year is finally over and kids and parents can breathe a sigh of relief. A long needed respite is on order. While the summer offers great weather, visits to the beach, a job at camp or an intership, it also offers the opportunity for your child to get a head start on college applications, particularly the time consuming essays. Without the regular demands of school bearing down on them, it is the perfect time (if they are willing) to put some thought and effort into their essays. Have them begin with the writing portion of the Common Application, which will in most cases, prove to be a time efficient tool in the application process. As an essay consultant, I advise my students to just get their thoughts and feelings down on paper/computer, overshooting the required word count by about two hundred words, thus leaving room for editing. They may not want to focus on this now, but I can assure, you that come the fall, they will be elated to have made a significant dent in this daunting but neccessary process. Good luck!
7 | Charles Ilardi
My daughter and I have shared some special bonding moments. I too walked her to pre-school every morning. Walking to Marble Hill Nursery meant passing JFK high school, and there was nothing like the sight of towering, earthy high school students smiling at my tiny daughter. We also have gone to weekend art projects at Wave Hill in the Bronx. Of course, this pales in comparison with MY bonding moments with MY Dad: No, it wasn’t fishing or camping. It was when my sister was in high school, and on Friday and Saturday nights she was out late, and inevitably we’d get the call to pick her up from SOME place. Then my Dad & I would get in the car. And as we headed across the city we had time to talk about the music I liked, what he was like when he was young, whether the Mets had a chance that year, and so forth. It was a nice time.
8 | Jeff Byrnes
There is no doubt that time spent alone in the car with your kids is one of the most special times you’ll have. They seem to open up, be more engaged in conversation and you get to know a whole different side of them. As my kids have grown up, (10 year old boy, 9 year old girl), I have found other opportunities for that special alone time with them. It might be somewhat easier for my son as he has grown into a large sports fan and we’ve spent many an hour talking baseball, football or even NASCAR. I coach both of them in Little League and Basketball and enjoy the time before and after the practices and games as our time to be together and talk about whatever.
I’ve also tried to always take one of them with me on any errand runs so we have that special time to bond. Those trips to the grocery store or Home Depot have brought the greatest joy to ordinary days. For the summer we are members at a local beach club and my daughter is the “fish” of the family so I will often times volunteer to go to the pool with her and the time spent walking from the cabana to the pool and back has really enlightened me on who she is growing up to be.
9 | Anita Glick
Where oh where has the summer gone? Why does time off seem to go so much faster than time in school or at work? That is what I am hearing from the kids who are now coming home from their summer jaunts or jobs, to face the task of filling out their college applications. Not all, but most applications (including the Common Application) are now posted online and ready to be dealt with. A few DOs and DON”Ts – take your time when filling out the applications; rushing will just cause careless errors. When setting up your passwords, try keeping them the same for each school; it will simplify your life. Keep the passwords handy so that you can work on the application at your own pace. My advice is to wait until the new school year begins so that you are aware of any new information that your guidance counselor may have to offer. When you feel that the application is complete, print out a hard copy for your own records. Here comes the fun part … press SEND.
10 | Michael Casano
I just finished reading “The Lion King” to my daughter Katie for the third time tonight (a wonderful byproduct of our recent trip to Walt Disney World is her new love of everything Simba, Timon, and Pumbaa). In doing so, it got to me to thinking how fathers can make great connections with their sons and daughters by finding some special children’s books that they can share together (I still fondly remember the many times my father read “The House that Jack Built” to me while I was growing up).
For my son, it seems we’re always reading “Froggy Plays T-Ball” together (honoring our mutual love of baseball and the New York Mets), or a Dr. Seuss book (“Gerald McBoing Boing,” “Green Eggs and Ham,” and “The Butter Battle Book” are often at the top of the request list). With my daughter, we’re usually reading another from Disney’s Storybook Collection or “The Bear Snores On.” Whatever the book, just spending some time reading with your children can create some memorable experiences.
To all you fathers out there: Can you share the names of some children’s books you usually read with your children, and why?
11 | Sharon Pierce
We are going to start using a neighborhood teenager for babysitting services (have always had grandparents watch kids before), but she doesn’t have a set fee. What are the going rates on Long Island? We have a 2 year old boy and a 7 year old girl. Any help on fees would be appreciated!
Thanks!
12 | LaToya Naughton
Hello Fellow Parents,
I have two concerns both combined in one. I am a new to Long Island (Massapequa) and I have managed to get my son in a Charter School in Roosevelt. Thankfully he will be bused to and from school however I work in Manhattan so I am in search of a part-time nanny. One that could be there to watch my son until I get home. Do any of the working moms have recommendations for credible nannies?
Also – it’s my son’s first time riding the bus, new school, and entering Kindergarten. Do you recommend that I follow the bus on the first day?
13 | Liza N. Burby
Dear LaToya,
If you’re looking for a Nanny you can try both Nannys USA at 631-473-5141 (and say you heard about them through Long Island Parent magazine) and/or the Nassau Child Care Council at 516-358-9288. They’re an excellent resource. As for following the bus, it’s up to you totally what makes you feel comfortable. I know I drove by my daughter’s school on her first day (after wearing sunglasses–though it was cloudy–to hide my tears). Your son will be fine; it’s always hardest for Mom.
Liza Burby
Publisher/Editor
14 | Liza N. Burby
8 of September 2009 ● 10:02 am
Sharon–
So sorry we didn’t get back to you. This must have been lost in Webland. Anyway, unfortunately though you and I may have made $2.50 an hour back in the day, if you have a responsible teen sitter, you can pay up to $10 an hour. An inexperienced 13-year-old will probably be happy with $7. But if you find someone you like, hold on to her with the $10 because all too soon they’re too busy to sit unless the fee is worth it.
Liza Burby
Publisher/Editor
15 | Michael Casano
29 of September 2009 ● 8:44 pm
Recently, I took my son to a New York Mets game at Citi Field. We’ve gone to about five games this year, each time more memorable than the previous one – simply because of the enthusiasm my son shows when we go.
While our favorite team is not doing well this year, my son’s genuine love of rooting for the Mets always brings a smile to my face and the people we’re sitting next to – easily helping us all forget about the team’s current place in the standings. It makes the experience of going to a game with him always special, and lets me remember why I am such a fan of baseball in the first place.
A question for you dads out there: what are some favorite moments you’ve shared with your son and/or daughter at a sports event (either rooting together for your favorite team, or cheering your children on at their own games)?
16 | Debra Ferrie
Hello there
Glad I found this site .I LOVE to see positive Moms and Dads who are hands on involved in parenting and really enjoying it. Being a Mom to my 3 is the biggest blessing in my life.
Oh, it can be stressful,as I’m single and it’s just me and the kids , but I wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world. I love Long Island and all the beauty around us.
I know most people complain of traffic and costs but it is what it is to live here and be surrounded by amazing towns such as the ones on the two forks, Port Jeff, Northport, Huntington, etc.Yes, it’s cold and I’d rather warmer weather where I can be out more but we try to visit as many museums, science centers and the like in this cold weather. It’s also a great time to just veg out with the kids, read, have family game night , read some more…
Spring will be here before we know it and we can be back on those beautiful beaches and seaside towns we love.
